Putting my "nice hands" on

I am really starting to get organized with B and his schedule especially. I know that extreme consistency would make everyone's lives perfect, but of course that can't happen in a normal household. His O.T. explained that the reason why most kids do so well at school and then tend to unravel at home is usually because of 2 things. 1. School is very scheduled and consistent why home can't be that way. You have to make modifications on a daily basis and just life in general can get busy and 2. At home most kids feel safe and know that no matter what mommy and daddy are going to love them. So his school's O.T. put together a morning schedule with pictures and I asked B was each picture was and he seemed to get it. Next to each picture we can put a check mark next to it so he can feel the accomplishment on his actions. I am hoping that making his mornings so much better will help create a better day in general. Another thing that was mentioned in the meeting was making sure B wasn't running the household.  I know that I have been over indulging his behavior because I feel bad for what he is having to face and the fact that now his Dad isn't physically here, I feel like I just want to do anything to make him happy, but she said that saying "no" is really good for him. He wants to know that their are boundaries even if he sometimes doesn't like hearing it. If I give him choice and he picks it then is not happy about it, I need to put  my hand out and turn away letting him know that his actions of yelling and screaming are not going to work on me. I am a talker, like most women and she said that trying to rationalize the behavior is going to do nothing but possibly make it worse. So yesterday I did just that and he eventually calmed down then I went to him with a smile and tried to figure out how we could fix the problem. The rest of the week is working on "nice hands". It is a concept of reminding B to be kind and gentle to things, such as his sister. He can be extremely rough and this is at school and at home and I need to get that somewhat under control before he hurts someone on accident. I am to ask him to show me how he would touch the baby and let him show it on me and then I can either say "good" or help to change the strength of the touch. I have a hard time saying "nice hands" in public because it makes me sound like i'm some high and mighty person, but I will need to get over this stigma and realize it is better to be saying it and hopefully preventing someone from getting hurt. SO nice hands will be coming into our vocabulary here in the Ausome Household this week. Wish me luck!

His fancy schedule: