Hard to see through the tears

trying to hold on to everything that is important and letting go of things that are not worth keeping around at this moment. B is having some really good days recently. He actually tells her he is 3 when you ask him how old he is. He is starting to try to communicate to others even though he sometimes misses the mark. The point is that he is trying! P is really starting to walk:) She is so completely adorable and perfect, it makes my heart break knowing how much her dad is missing out on. We are up to 8 days of zero communication from him and it gets really hard especially in the evenings to not say something but I need to keep my mouth shut at this time. That is one thing I am learning is that not everything I feel needs to be said. There are some things that need to be kept to myself. I have been working really hard on my relationship with God. I have been asking for him to reveal to me what I need to work on and it has been quit a list! I am trying hard to keep my focus on the kids and live moment to moment. I know I will need to make some decisions regarding my situations with their dad and I am going back and forth with it all. So tonight as I am crying and my tears are blurring my view, I need to keep the focus on how amazing my kids are and being strong for them.