The Scarlet D

I am going through separation with my husband and it will most likely lead to divorce. It's hard to explain everything that happened. I wasn't perfect. I was busy with B. What I learned from it all is that you can't keep someone in a marriage and you can't keep them faithful. I just can't wrap my head around everything and it is a minute to minute situation sometimes. I feel like I could just fall apart somedays, but then I look at my kids and I know that they need me to be strong. I wasn't raised to get a divorce, in my religion it is looked down on. I look down on myself about it. I feel like I walk around with my scarlet D on my shirt and everyone just knows. I go to meetings at school by myself. I go to open house with my parents and not my husband. I feel like everyone just looks at me and just knows. It pains me that this is what is going on in my life right now. I am trying to stay focused on the kids and what they are doing but I am also trying to focus on myself a little. I need to make myself a priority to some degree. I have put myself on the back burner and I haven't felt good about myself in a long time and I need to do that for myself. So tomorrow is a new day and tonight I can cry and let myself fall apart while the babes sleep but when they wake up in the morning I will be fresh and ready to go.....just smile